ROFLYSST

Bill Bailey with the funny Internet Love Song,
Part of the Dandelion Mind show.

Whilst vaguely watching you nibble your sandwich,
I was gripped by an overwhelming sense of utter futility.
You twitter "Oh my God I'm having a sandwich" like it's thrilling
Four seconds later...
Nineteen followers twitter "What filling?"
One of them is me, I say "Is it carrot and hummus?"
You say "Wow, there must be a special connection between us"
We meet from a tweet
But it's not that appealing
Because unlike Lionel Richie
We're not dancing on the ceiling
I caress you like a curious wasp
You embrace me like a spiteful pheasant
It's quite unpleasant
Aww, my eye
And then you shit on my head
Do we really love?
Do we really care?
Let's sort this out with an online questionnaire
But in the box marked "Do you really wanna be with me?"
We both clicked...
Neither agree nor disagree
I don't hate you, it's not fate
It's just we're not that great
I don't dislike you, I just unlike you
FYI (For your information)
LOL (I am not laughing out loud)
LMAO (Or even laughing my arse off)
ROFLYSST (Or even R-O-F-L-Y-S-S-T)
... Rolling on the floor laughing yet somehow still typing!