Timidity

Timidity is a fear to not bother others with something you do, to not be in the center of attention to others. Paradoxically, timidity is opposite to natural human behavior. This makes me think that the origin of timidity is in the early childhood. Little children instinctually want to be in the center of attention and they will pretty much use all the necessary resources to obtain that. At this point it’s critical how harsh is the punishment from the grownups. Excessive punishment (even if it’s only verbose) may create the fear that powers up timidity. Timidity is also fueled up by a factor of isolation. In a way parents are the oppression and your friends the resistance. In other words people of the same age are more likely to accept your stupidities than older ones.

Resuming, timidity consists of:

• Fear not to bother
• Fear not to be in the center of attention
• Isolation factor

It’s important to mention that usually timidity installs itself at the instinctual level and is only eliminated by abruptly eliminating the generators.

The opposites of shy persons are the overconfident ones. In this world, the shy persons are the prey and the overconfident persons are the predators. When you form yourself as a person, there are several layers of behavior that interact and depend one on another. Because timidity is on a lower layer it is very difficult to extract and it requires multiple changes in almost all the layers. I guess that the key to success of timidity banishment is the isolation factor: forcing of being with other people will finally reduce the fears and most probably terminate them. But the shy person have to fight himself and push the relational interaction further even if he thinks he does ridiculous things. Unfortunately shy persons will not become very sociable easily, and in most cases is a matter of context.

The Zero Effect

In 2001, when I made my first webpage, I was very excited about all this opportunity, because Internet offers a place where you can publish your ideas and a lot of other things, and all these are available to a broader audience. But there is a problem: nobody knows about your site. You, very soon, realize that you need to promote it. This can be done in two ways: to annoy people by telling them about your site, or to spam them. Either way, finally, a couple of people will visit your site. The problem now is that they compare it to sites belonging to corporations or companies where a team of professionals maintain the content and your site doesn't stand the chance: at its best is considered cute and easily forgotten. While the time passes, there will be zero visitors, zero comments, zero downloads, zero feedback. One day you will embrace that zero and you'll start to put things out just for your own purposes. Sad that day is. Web is no longer different than a notebook, with the exception of the times when you write stupidities and they will hunt you down for that.

What means xunrage

Back in 2001 I wished I have a unique nickname. The main idea was to stick together two words from two completely different languages, and then search in Google how original that composition was. Finally I came across xunrage, which is formed from the word xun from Chinese and the word rage from English. Xun is one of the eight trigrams of Xiantian Bagua and its meaning is wind. Therefore xunrage translates as the fury of the wind. Considering the fact that in Bagua wind is a mild and gentle element, its association with rage is my personal belief that peaceful things can change in unsuspected ways. Later I’ve created the X logo with those sharp edges, where the blue represents the xun and the pink represents the rage.